So I've been really into learning more about the mind and how EXACTLY our subconscious thoughts affect our actions in life. This is extremely important because it is our FOUNDATION and this is where our manifestations begin. Once you start to change your core beliefs, you begin to change everything around you. When I first started learning about the Law of Attraction, I didn't understand how powerful the subconscious mind is. It is where our emotions and memories are stored. Everything that has ever happened to you whether good or bad, is permanently stored in this memory bank. When unfortunate things happen to us, we store them and those negative thoughts and feelings begin to take over us.
When I started preschool at age 4, I remember walking into my classroom and crying my eyes out. I was always really attached to my parents so starting school wasn't something I was looking forward to in the first place and it didn't help that my teacher wasn't the nicest. I've always been and still am a highly sensitive person which means that things affect me a little more than the average human being. I just feel things more deeply and I'm still trying to learn more about myself through this growth journey and accept myself completely. Anyway, that first week of preschool was absolute hell for me and I remember it very clearly because that subconscious belief(s) still sticks with me today. I'll break it all down for you right now.
It was my 3rd or 4th day of preschool and I was beginning to get a little more comfortable with this whole going to school situation. It was lunch time and everyone got a tray with food and milk cartons. I was so excited to drink my chocolate milk but I was struggling a little with opening the carton so I raised my hand to ask my teacher for help. She took the carton, sighed and angrily said "it's not that hard to open this.." In that moment, I started to cry and I felt incredibly stupid. At the age of 4, I felt worthless and I felt like I didn't know how to do something as simple as opening a milk carton. Guess what my belief is? "I'm stupid". Another belief I had that was tied to that was "I hate school" because of my resentment to my teacher and my first experience with preschool, and because I hated school, I had a shitty school year...every single year. I constantly wondered why I always had a miserable experience at school whether it was with friends or teachers or even grades and I recently found out that my belief of hating school led me to attract negative experiences throughout elementary, junior high and high school. These beliefs that were drilled into my head as a kid affected me and even though I've come a long way and I've learned to appreciate myself, I still have so much more to improve. Five years after my milk carton incident (which was actually one of many incidents I had with my teacher, this particular one is the only one I remember really clearly) I found out that my teacher was fired. What goes around comes around.
I wont lie and say that I don't feel "stupid" sometimes. Its a deep rooted subconscious belief that I've kept for so many years and sometimes I have to snap out of it and tell myself that this isn't MY belief. It's a belief that belongs to someone else. It's a reflection of them. It's so difficult to change these thoughts and patterns that we've been programmed with because we've had them for so many years. The best part about all of this is that we CAN change what we believe. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Will the change happen quickly? Most likely not. Is it worth it? Hell yes. Opening my mind to all this knowledge has been so helpful in my journey of self growth, I'm grateful for every piece of information I've come across because it's all so essential. I hope this helps in understanding how the subconscious works and how experiences and memories mold us. Its never too late to change these unhealthy habits and negative patterns. As soon as you let go of these thoughts that are holding you back, you will begin to see everything in a new light.