A Transformational Weekend

I honestly have no words for how life changing this past weekend was. Like I'm genuinely in absolute shock at how different I feel and how my perspective has changed. I went to a spiritual retreat called "Rewrite Your Story" and that's exactly what I did. I rewrote my story with the help of an incredible community of like-minded people. 

It's always been so hard for me to fit in with others because of my eccentric, spiritual nature. It's difficult to speak to most people my age because I feel like no one truly gets it. I want to talk about life, death, nature, the mind, dreams, passions, goals.....I'm tired of talking about empty topics and just having useless conversations that include gossip and negativity.. It gets old after a while and for me, it got old real fast. At 21, I was completely over that life. I wanted more depth and more positivity. I was tired of not feeling genuinely happy with myself and constantly putting others needs before my own. I knew I had to make serious changes, I knew the Universe was testing me. I knew it was a wakeup call and I'm so glad I responded to it. The past 2 years have been really crazy in terms of personal growth. Like I don't even know how I got here. All I know is I'm so much happier with MYSELF and who I am as a person. I understand things on a more profound level and my path is so much clearer now. This retreat honestly was the cherry on the sundae. It just hit the spot so perfectly, I've never been happier. 

Rewrite Your Story started with a beautiful introduction from the spiritual dynamic duo who were leading the workshop, Sah D'Simone and Moun D'Simone. I just want to add that they are 2 of the most AMAZING human beings I have ever met. Their motivational and magical energy truly transmitted to everyone and I felt so safe being near them. I felt like my energy was being protected and taken care of, it was so refreshing. Oh and they're siblings....serious #familygoals. They were so transparent when they were sharing their life stories and it made me realize that I'm not alone in this journey. It can be scary when you feel like you don't have anyone who supports you or understands your beliefs, but seeing how real and authentic everyone was made me feel like I could be myself and not hold back. I felt like I could finally express myself and talk about the things I love. I had PERMISSION to be who I am. So I truly thank everyone that attended the retreat because every part of it was so magical. 

We learned about how to nourish your body with the right foods, how to use certain breathing techniques to rewire your brain, how to connect with others without judgement and fear, how to love yourself and put yourself first, how to be in touch with your intuition, how to push yourself to keep going even when you want to stop....all these things are essential for our well-being. Knowledge is power. Get out of your comfort zone and get to really know yourself on a deeper level. Trust me, it'll be the best thing you'll ever do for yourself. That's true love; when you begin to feel more in touch with your emotions and you begin to accept yourself whole-heartedly. 

I love the person I'm becoming regardless of what that looks like to other people. I want to thank everyone who has been a part of my journey so far, I couldn't have done it without your beautiful energies. xx

 

The Importance Of Your Subconscious Mind

So I've been really into learning more about the mind and how EXACTLY our subconscious thoughts affect our actions in life. This is extremely important because it is our FOUNDATION and this is where our manifestations begin. Once you start to change your core beliefs, you begin to change everything around you. When I first started learning about the Law of Attraction, I didn't understand how powerful the subconscious mind is. It is where our emotions and memories are stored. Everything that has ever happened to you whether good or bad, is permanently stored in this memory bank. When unfortunate things happen to us, we store them and those negative thoughts and feelings begin to take over us. 

When I started preschool at age 4, I remember walking into my classroom and crying my eyes out. I was always really attached to my parents so starting school wasn't something I was looking forward to in the first place and it didn't help that my teacher wasn't the nicest. I've always been and still am a highly sensitive person which means that things affect me a little more than the average human being. I just feel things more deeply and I'm still trying to learn more about myself through this growth journey and accept myself completely. Anyway, that first week of preschool was absolute hell for me and I remember it very clearly because that subconscious belief(s) still sticks with me today. I'll break it all down for you right now. 

It was my 3rd or 4th day of preschool and I was beginning to get a little more comfortable with this whole going to school situation. It was lunch time and everyone got a tray with food and milk cartons. I was so excited to drink my chocolate milk but I was struggling a little with opening the carton so I raised my hand to ask my teacher for help. She took the carton, sighed and angrily said "it's not that hard to open this.."  In that moment, I started to cry and I felt incredibly stupid. At the age of 4, I felt worthless and I felt like I didn't know how to do something as simple as opening a milk carton. Guess what my belief is? "I'm stupid".  Another belief I had that was tied to that was "I hate school" because of my resentment to my teacher and my first experience with preschool, and because I hated school, I had a shitty school year...every single year. I constantly wondered why I always had a miserable experience at school whether it was with friends or teachers or even grades and I recently found out that my belief of hating school led me to attract negative experiences throughout elementary, junior high and high school. These beliefs that were drilled into my head as a kid affected me and even though I've come a long way and I've learned to appreciate myself, I still have so much more to improve. Five years after my milk carton incident (which was actually one of many incidents I had with my teacher, this particular one is the only one I remember really clearly) I found out that my teacher was fired. What goes around comes around. 

I wont lie and say that I don't feel "stupid" sometimes. Its a deep rooted subconscious belief that I've kept for so many years and sometimes I have to snap out of it and tell myself that this isn't MY belief. It's a belief that belongs to someone else. It's a reflection of them. It's so difficult to change these thoughts and patterns that we've been programmed with because we've had them for so many years. The best part about all of this is that we CAN change what we believe. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Will the change happen quickly? Most likely not. Is it worth it? Hell yes. Opening my mind to all this knowledge has been so helpful in my journey of self growth, I'm grateful for every piece of information I've come across because it's all so essential. I hope this helps in understanding how the subconscious works and how experiences and memories mold us. Its never too late to change these unhealthy habits and negative patterns. As soon as you let go of these thoughts that are holding you back, you will begin to see everything in a new light. 

 

 

MANIFESTATION: How It All Began

One of the most common questions I always get asked is "Where did this belief of manifestation come from and how do you attract certain things in your life so easily?" There's a bit of a back story to this so sit back, relax and be inspired.

Back when I was 17, my life began to change. My brother who was 25 at the time, came home one night and began to teach me about the Law of Attraction. Now remember I was only 17 years old which means I was still an immature high school student who wanted nothing more than to constantly hang out with my friends or text my boyfriend 24/7. What the HELL was my brother saying....is he going insane???? These were literally the thoughts that went through my head when he would talk to me about "manifesting" and "attracting good things into your life" by thinking good thoughts. "Um yeah, I think I'll pass" were the exact words I would tell him. My brother is an incredible, hardworking, positive person with an insane amount of potential. I'm not just saying that because he's related to me (or maybe I am? lol I hope he reads this) but because he has proved to me that the right mindset and hard work will get you to the places you've dreamed of. He's been a personal trainer for a little more than 10 years now. He started at a local gym when he was 18 and he worked so hard to get where he is at this moment. After jumping from gym to gym as time went on, he finally landed his dream job at The Core Club, a social club where celebrities and CEO's hang out. His goal was ALWAYS to become a celebrity trainer and I literally remember him coming home every night and "manifesting" his visions with me of training celebrities and being one of the top trainers in NYC. I shit you not, he manifested EVERYTHING he wanted...from his paycheck to his personal connections. I was honestly baffled every time he came home with a new manifestation story and that's when it all hit me. If he can do it, why can't I? If everything is aligning for him, it's worth a shot. 

That same year, I broke up with my boyfriend at the time and it was my first heartbreak. It was tough and it was messy. I was surrounded by negativity everywhere I went. I began to resent people for no particular reason. I wanted nothing more than to disappear and move to another country so I wouldn't have to deal with any of this. Call me lucky because that's when my brother gave me the strength to get off my depressed ass and do something that would make me happy and feel alive again. I got back into modeling which I had stopped pursuing because of my relationship and I started getting photoshoots and opportunities left and right. I got the opportunity to participate in MISS NEW YORK and that alone taught me so many things including how to love myself and put myself first. I MANIFESTED THESE OPPORTUNITIES and began to feel alive again. I would spend hours VISUALIZING what it would be like to participate in a pageant BEFORE I even got chosen to participate. I would spend days talking about my blessings and how grateful I am for everything I've been given. I would spend months focusing on ME, MYSELF AND I, and giving myself the respect and love I deserved. The confidence I have now in my ability to manifest and attract what I want was not easy whatsoever. It was hard to change my mindset on my own. I had to wait until I hit rock bottom in order to change but guess what? I went through with it and did it anyway. I saw how successful my brother became and I wanted to follow in his footsteps. He was my role model and still is to this day, I'm so thankful and proud to have him in my life. Today, he is a successful celebrity trainer who has worked with Ellen DeGeneres, Roger Waters from Pink Floyd, Paul McCartney's wife, the CEO of T-Mobile, the chief editor of Vogue Paris and many more. We ALL have the same ability to manifest and to create the lives we want, but it all begins with loving yourself and focusing on the things we DO want rather than focusing on the things we don't want. It's a simple concept that requires consistency, hard work and a whole lot of positivity.  

Don't give up on your dreams and visions xx

New Year, New Soul

"What are your New Years resolutions?" 

It's a question that we've all been asked at some point in our lives. Rather than asking people what their resolutions are, I like to ask what their intentions are. You shouldn't have to wait for a new year to have new intentions. Instead, wake up with a positive intention EVERYDAY. Setting an intention can do so much for you and it can attract SO many great things into your life. 2016 was a year of incredible growth for me with many valuable lessons learned. I've met some pretty amazing people that have tremendously impacted me in a positive way and I couldn't be more thankful. There are so many things I want to achieve this year and every year until I die, but I'm so glad my blog has been my proudest achievement so far regardless of anyone's opinions. It's extremely hard to set goals and conquer them but it's a challenge I'm willing to take. Like every other soul on this planet, I am flawed but I'm able to accept that and not let go take over. I can be too much of a perfectionist, I let negative emotions get to me sometimes due to my sensitive nature and I overwhelm myself with the smallest things, but one thing I DON'T do is give up. I want to continue evolving and making a difference in not only my life, but in everyone's life. I want to attract more positivity every second of the day. I want to live in complete truth. It's the small goals and little improvements in your life that make the difference and change your perspective. So this year and EVERY year, make it a goal to improve. Improve your relationships, improve your career and improve yourself. 

I'm so excited for everything I have planned and I can't wait to share it with all you beautiful people. I want to take this time to express my gratitude to everyone who has believed in me and supported me. My journey has just begun and there's so much more in store. Cheers to a MAGICAL new beginning xx

 

10 things my parents taught me about marriage

Hi loves! So I'm getting into something a little personal for my parents 35th wedding anniversary today and I thought I'd share some really important relationship related lessons that I've learned from them. We all know that relationships ARE NOT easy and they can never be perfect no matter how hard you try. Being in a relationship myself and as I grow older, I realize that they don't get any easier. If anything, they get harder the longer you're with the person. You begin to pick up on their "annoying" little habits and the more you're with the person, the more you have to bicker about. That's all part of the package and as hard as it may be, its extremely worth it in the end. My parents have been married for exactly 35 years and I'm SO blessed and thankful that I was raised seeing them give each other nothing but love, honesty, respect and loyalty. I never once saw my dad cheating or mistreating my mom and vice versa and it's honestly a blessing to be able to say that. Watching my dad not even LOOK at another woman and making my mom, my brother and I his top priorities makes me have super high standards and I learned not to tolerate anything less than that in a man. They never needed to go on fancy dates or exchange expensive gifts to show each other love. Their love is so simple yet so fulfilling, I can only hope I'll be able to experience that with my husband in the future. Even when they did have their fair share of arguments, ignoring each other or breaking up was certainly not an option. I came up with 10 of the top most important things my parents have taught me and I think we can all learn a little something from my favorite couple.

 

1. CHEATING IS NEVER OKAY

Please note how this is the first thing on the list. One of the main reasons why my parents were able to be together for this long is because cheating was never in their dictionary. I will personally NEVER tolerate that because I respect myself enough to walk away from betrayal. I would also never even think about breaking my partners trust. When I'm with ONE person, that is the only person that has my heart and no one can change that. There is never an excuse to cheat in my opinion. If you're able to let opportunity control your loyalty, chances are you don't respect your significant other enough to be with them. If you're not happy with the person you're seeing, just leave. It's as simple as that. No one deserves to be played and when you betray someone, you shatter their trust and confidence. Why would you want to hurt someone like that? Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you.

 

2. When In Doubt, Talk It Out  

Being able to express yourself in a relationship is SO crucial, that is your main foundation for having and keeping the relationship on a healthy level. Some of us can express ourselves better than others and have more emotional intelligence than others. I for one struggle to express myself at times because I'm a very self-sufficient person, but I'm slowly learning to work on it and learning to be more in touch with my emotions. My parents have always told me that a relationship with no communication is a recipe for pure disaster and I fully agree with that. Ignoring one another or avoiding the issue is never a good idea and that will only lead to more anger and resentment in the end.

 

3. Honesty Is The Best Policy

Lying is never the answer. Be as honest as you can because one little lie can lead to many many problems and getting caught in a lie is never fun. If you want your relationship to be based on complete trust and freedom, lying won't get you there. If you have to lie to your significant other about where you are or who you're with, then maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship.

 

4. Respect Each Others Opinions And Beliefs 

Everyone has their own way of thinking and their own opinions on certain matters. Your partner might like staying in on the weekends while you're more of a social butterfly and that's totally okay, there's nothing wrong with that. The key here is to COMPROMISE. Saturday can be the day you go out and Sunday can be the Netflix and chill day. That's a pretty fair and straightforward deal, right? By respecting each others wishes, you're creating a positive space between you and your partner and that will only lead to a stronger bond.  

 

5. Be Your Own Person

Independence is not only essential in a relationship, but it gives you a sense of confidence and happiness. Being able to do your own thing with no limitations is an incredible feeling and allowing your partner to also do the same shows real maturity. You create your own happiness and you should never wait for someone to complete you. It is your responsibility to complete yourself. When you love yourself first, you allow your partner to appreciate you even more and chances are they'll be a lot more attracted to you because after all, confidence is sexy. 

 

6. Don't Be Controlling

This one is important because we tend to get a little over protective of our partners and that's just human nature, but that can sometimes lead to controlling behavior whether we realize it or not. This type of behavior will push your partner away and it'll absolutely make your relationship crumble. There's a big difference between telling your partner "hey, I feel like I'm being put aside for your friends and it makes me feel like I'm not important" and "hey, I don't want you hanging out with your friends." Remember to pick your words wisely because it's not always what you say, but how you say it. 

 

7.  Be Yourself

Don't try to act like something you're not just to please the person you're with. If you don't like tattoos, don't get them just because your partner likes them. Your partner will love you for who you are, they're with you for a reason. No one is perfect and you shouldn't try to be perfect either. Instead, try to be the best version of yourself possible and that will mean a lot more to your partner in the end. 

 

8. Think Before You React

In a moment of anger and rage, negative hurtful comments can be thrown to one another and that is obviously NOT the right way to settle things. Don't get me wrong, arguing in a relationship is extremely healthy and its inevitable, but it's HOW you react that matters. Your response can either make things better or worse. Saying things you don't mean can cause extreme resentment in the long run.

 

9. A Sense Of Humor Goes A Long Way

Laughing is the best medicine and if anyone knows anything about a sense of humor, its my dad. I grew up seeing my parents constantly laughing and having a good time. Life is too short to take everything so seriously, so lighten up and laugh your ass off with your partner whenever you can. It'll improve your communication and those inside jokes between the both of you creates a sense of intimacy. Couples who laugh together, last together. 

 

10. Solidify A Friendship

This is definitely one of my favorite lessons of all. A relationship that is based on a friendship makes everything so much easier and that bond becomes unbreakable. When you know the person on a friendly level, your love for them will naturally be stronger and you'll be comfortable enough to act like a complete fool in front of them without any judgement. How great is it when you can wake up next to your best friend with messy hair and morning breath but still love the crap out of them?

 

So moral of the story is, relationships are difficult but its the little things that make it amazing and worthwhile. I'm still learning in my own relationship, I'm certainly not perfect but I know I do a damn good job at making my partner happy by just being myself. He makes me just as happy and not by showering me with expensive gifts or taking me out on expensive dates, but by showing me loyalty and respect. I'm thankful that I had my parents show me what a purely happy relationship entails because I've been able to apply all those things to my own.

 

A HUGE shoutout to my incredible mother and father, here's to you on your 35th wedding anniversary. Thank you for being the greatest role models xx